Kristi’s Story

I found out I had breast cancer on the day I turned 31, December 18, 2001.

My boyfriend (now husband) first felt the lump in March of 2001 and I immediately went to my gynaecologist to check it out. I asked him "Can it be cancer"?  He said that I was too young for breast cancer and to walk out of his office and not think about it again.  I tried but I kept feeling it and feeling it. Finally, 8 months later when I pointed it out again he said "It got bigger".  My heart sank. 

I went for an ultrasound and they really didn't see anything, but recommended a mammogram.  The radiologist that read the films came in to talk to me.  He said it was a 50% chance it was cancer. I think it was more of a 90% chance but I guess he didn't want to tell me that.  I went outside and called my mom and cried. I think I cried for 2 months straight.  I was a mess.  I had just moved two hours away from my friends and family to live with my boyfriend, now fiancé.  I also had just started my new job and had only been there 2 weeks.  It's one thing to be at your job and go through the motions, but I had to try and learn a new position. It was impossible to think or learn anything.  My coworkers and bosses were amazing.  They let me sit there and stare at my computer and cry and also constantly look up breast cancer information on the internet.  I was in a daze and it was very hard to get out of bed every morning.

I thought I was definitely going to die. 

I think now, "Am I cured"? I could be. "Are there still cancer cells in me that the chemo didn't get"?  It's like it's never really over.  That is hard. I was diagnosed with a 1.5cm tumour with one positive lymph node.  I had a lumpectomy, 6 months of chemotherapy and 6 weeks of radiation. I will also be on Tamoxifin for 5 years. 

Being bald wasn't that traumatic for me. My hair was starting to fall out and would come out in clumps if I pulled it. I was amazed. My boyfriend shaved my head and I must say I really had fun with the different wigs and hats.

The scariest thing is waiting for the bone scan results and CT scan results hoping that the cancer didn't spread any further and feeling so bitter that my gynaecologist just dismissed my concerns because of my age! My advice … don’t ever take the chance! Insist on being checked out. 

It's been a rough year, but I feel stronger now and more positive about everything. I have met a great group of girls on the YSC board and another very special group who have helped me tremendously through every step of this journey … especially my friend Deb, who was a week ahead of me starting chemo and told me every detail which made it so much less scary when it was my turn.

I feel so lucky because I have great people in my life. First, my husband Earle, who was great support through everything. He gave me shots of neupogen everyday, told me I looked beautiful when I was bald and held me at night when I was scared. My best friend Rita always had the right thing to say when I called every single day crying. And my parents. You all helped me so much too. 

I'm still scared and paranoid but I also am very happy… if that makes any sense.